One Million Morons

I was browsing Facebook today, when I came across a link that a friend of mine had posted.  It was an article written by the "One Million Moms" project - a branch of the the American Family Association (I know, they spelled "Self Righteous Tyrant" wrong).  OMM is essentially a group of conservative, bible thumping old hags, with nothing better to do then try to make the rest of the world as miserable as them.  Their approach is what makes it golden.  Golden...as in black swastika on a red and white field.

In a nutshell, the article was about one of their "current issues": Ellen Degeneres being the new spokesperson for JC Penny.  Allow me to share some direct quotes from the article:

"Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of its customers are traditional families"

and

"Degeneres is not a true representation of the type of families who shop at the retailer. The small percentage of customers they are attempting to satisfy will not offset their loss in sales by offending the majority."


If you are a decent human being, you will understand the complete audacity that these conservative nazis had posting this.  If not, go away - forever.  Needless to say, I felt it was necessary to send them an E-mail:


Hello One Million Moms,

I just finished reading your article regarding the current JC Penny issue. I wanted to state that prior to reading it, I had no idea that an openly homosexual woman had become the spokesperson for JC Penny. This is definitely against tradition, and will undoubtedly make me think twice before I try on my next pair of blue jeans.

What is JC Penny thinking? What would possibly make them think that hiring a successful entertainer to be their spokesperson, would satisfy us, the customers? Did they not even consider the fact that us close-minded members of One Million Moms would be offended by this?

Holy Head-up-the-ass syndrome Batman!

I actually look forward to a JC Penny boycott. It's quite exciting to know that the members of OMM will be teaming up together, while simultaneously creating an enjoyable shopping environment for those who don't discriminate. It would operate like any other day of operation for JC Penny, except there wouldn't be any cranky old ladies getting in my way, trailing the smell of their retired snatch wagons around the store.

All in all OMM, I commend your efforts to create a better environment for JC Penny. As the great Abraham Lincoln once said, "nobody likes old ladies who are jealous that a lesbian is making much more money than their entire organization will ever pull in".

Kindest Regards

In the unlikely event that I receive a reply - I'll be sure to share. RG