Hi all,
Once again, it's been a while since I've posted on the ole' blog. I'd like to apologize, as I've been away conceiving your soon-to-be sister.
In between thrusts, I've been writing a novel. I'm not releasing details yet, but I will soon. Better believe it will be fucking awesome though!
P.S. I checked my E-mail, and I have a few more of my "Classifieds Trolling" stories that I will post soon. In the meantime, ration this small post - as it is all I have for now. - RG
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
One Million Morons
I was browsing Facebook today, when I came across a link that a friend of mine had posted. It was an article written by the "One Million Moms" project - a branch of the the American Family Association (I know, they spelled "Self Righteous Tyrant" wrong). OMM is essentially a group of conservative, bible thumping old hags, with nothing better to do then try to make the rest of the world as miserable as them. Their approach is what makes it golden. Golden...as in black swastika on a red and white field.
In a nutshell, the article was about one of their "current issues": Ellen Degeneres being the new spokesperson for JC Penny. Allow me to share some direct quotes from the article:
"Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of its customers are traditional families"
and
"Degeneres is not a true representation of the type of families who shop at the retailer. The small percentage of customers they are attempting to satisfy will not offset their loss in sales by offending the majority."
If you are a decent human being, you will understand the complete audacity that these conservative nazis had posting this. If not, go away - forever. Needless to say, I felt it was necessary to send them an E-mail:
Hello One Million Moms,
I just finished reading your article regarding the current JC Penny issue. I wanted to state that prior to reading it, I had no idea that an openly homosexual woman had become the spokesperson for JC Penny. This is definitely against tradition, and will undoubtedly make me think twice before I try on my next pair of blue jeans.
What is JC Penny thinking? What would possibly make them think that hiring a successful entertainer to be their spokesperson, would satisfy us, the customers? Did they not even consider the fact that us close-minded members of One Million Moms would be offended by this?
Holy Head-up-the-ass syndrome Batman!
I actually look forward to a JC Penny boycott. It's quite exciting to know that the members of OMM will be teaming up together, while simultaneously creating an enjoyable shopping environment for those who don't discriminate. It would operate like any other day of operation for JC Penny, except there wouldn't be any cranky old ladies getting in my way, trailing the smell of their retired snatch wagons around the store.
All in all OMM, I commend your efforts to create a better environment for JC Penny. As the great Abraham Lincoln once said, "nobody likes old ladies who are jealous that a lesbian is making much more money than their entire organization will ever pull in".
Kindest Regards
In the unlikely event that I receive a reply - I'll be sure to share. RG
In a nutshell, the article was about one of their "current issues": Ellen Degeneres being the new spokesperson for JC Penny. Allow me to share some direct quotes from the article:
"Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of its customers are traditional families"
and
"Degeneres is not a true representation of the type of families who shop at the retailer. The small percentage of customers they are attempting to satisfy will not offset their loss in sales by offending the majority."
If you are a decent human being, you will understand the complete audacity that these conservative nazis had posting this. If not, go away - forever. Needless to say, I felt it was necessary to send them an E-mail:
Hello One Million Moms,
I just finished reading your article regarding the current JC Penny issue. I wanted to state that prior to reading it, I had no idea that an openly homosexual woman had become the spokesperson for JC Penny. This is definitely against tradition, and will undoubtedly make me think twice before I try on my next pair of blue jeans.
What is JC Penny thinking? What would possibly make them think that hiring a successful entertainer to be their spokesperson, would satisfy us, the customers? Did they not even consider the fact that us close-minded members of One Million Moms would be offended by this?
Holy Head-up-the-ass syndrome Batman!
I actually look forward to a JC Penny boycott. It's quite exciting to know that the members of OMM will be teaming up together, while simultaneously creating an enjoyable shopping environment for those who don't discriminate. It would operate like any other day of operation for JC Penny, except there wouldn't be any cranky old ladies getting in my way, trailing the smell of their retired snatch wagons around the store.
All in all OMM, I commend your efforts to create a better environment for JC Penny. As the great Abraham Lincoln once said, "nobody likes old ladies who are jealous that a lesbian is making much more money than their entire organization will ever pull in".
Kindest Regards
In the unlikely event that I receive a reply - I'll be sure to share. RG
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Free Firewood
Being an asshole on Craigslist has become quite the hobby of mine while sitting at work, bored. I'm sure what makes it so fun - but it is.
Here, I bring out the hidden monster of what appeared to be a kind woman.
Original ad:
"Just cut down 3 oak trees, and giving away wood for free. MUST CUT YOUR OWN WOOD. THE WOOD IS NOT CUT YET, SO COME READY TO CHOP."
From: Sal Weddle <salweddle@gmail.com>
Subject: Firewood
To: sale-************@craigslist.org
Date: Saturday, December 24, 2011, 5:30 PM
Hi,
Any chance I could have you cut some of the wood for me? I am missing my left arm, and unable to use a tool that would be able to suffice in this process.
Thanks.
On Sat, Dec 24, 2011 at 6:34 PM, Ms ******* <*********luv@yahoo.com> wrote:
Well, I have a bad back. That is why I am offering it to someone. If you can't come and cut it sorry.
Kitty
Reach me at *******-8973
From: Sal Weddle <salweddle@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: Firewood
To: Ms ******* <*********luv@yahoo.com>
Date: Monday, December 26, 2011, 6:59 PM
That's unfortunate. I was asking if you could help, as I'd rather not have to drag my brother along with me. His doctor says his condition prevents him from being able to do physical work without extreme pain in his lower abdomen, but fortunately for us, he lacks vocal chords and is unable to make any forms of audible noise when said pain occurs, that may bother us as we work.
When would be a good time for Thadeus and I to come by and chop?
On Mon, Dec 26, 2011 at 8:22 PM, Ms ******* <*********luv@yahoo.com> wrote:
Well, don't worry about chopping wood, you would be the last person I would allow come to my place. As I stated in my reply email, I CAN'T CUT IT EITHER, MY DR. WON'T ALLOW ME TO DO ANY PHYSICAL WORK!
Don't bother to email me back.
Kitty
Reach me at ******8973
On Mon, Dec 26, 2011 at 8:34 PM, Sal Weddle <salweddle@gmail.com> wrote:
Ms ********,
-Sal.
On Tue, Dec 27, 2011 at 6:06 PM, Sal Weddle <salweddle@gmail.com> wrote:
I'm sorry it has come to this Ms. *******, but this has gone too far. Your discrimination against handicapped people is utterly disgusting, and being brought to the proper attention.
Under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), it is prohibited to place discrimination on the basis of disability.
Seeing as you initiated our meeting with such a generous offer, I am willing to allow you to redeem yourself, before actions are taken.
All I want is to keep my brother and I warm this winter, and I find it preposterous that your hatred might possibly prevent this from happening.
Hoping you come to your senses,
-Sal
On Mon, Dec 27, 2011 at 6:56 PM, Ms ******* <*********luv@yahoo.com> wrote:
You and your freak brother can burn in hell. tell that to the ada.
Kitty
Reach me at ******8973
On Tue, Dec 28, 2011 at 8:04 AM, Sal Weddle <salweddle@gmail.com> wrote:
Ms. *******
Are you implying that you're going to give us the firewood to stay warm?
Here, I bring out the hidden monster of what appeared to be a kind woman.
Original ad:
"Just cut down 3 oak trees, and giving away wood for free. MUST CUT YOUR OWN WOOD. THE WOOD IS NOT CUT YET, SO COME READY TO CHOP."
From: Sal Weddle <salweddle@gmail.com>
Subject: Firewood
To: sale-************@craigslist.
Date: Saturday, December 24, 2011, 5:30 PM
Hi,
Any chance I could have you cut some of the wood for me? I am missing my left arm, and unable to use a tool that would be able to suffice in this process.
Thanks.
On Sat, Dec 24, 2011 at 6:34 PM, Ms ******* <*********luv@yahoo.com> wrote:
Well, I have a bad back. That is why I am offering it to someone. If you can't come and cut it sorry.
Kitty
Reach me at *******-8973
From: Sal Weddle <salweddle@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: Firewood
To: Ms ******* <*********luv@yahoo.com>
Date: Monday, December 26, 2011, 6:59 PM
That's unfortunate. I was asking if you could help, as I'd rather not have to drag my brother along with me. His doctor says his condition prevents him from being able to do physical work without extreme pain in his lower abdomen, but fortunately for us, he lacks vocal chords and is unable to make any forms of audible noise when said pain occurs, that may bother us as we work.
On Mon, Dec 26, 2011 at 8:22 PM, Ms ******* <*********luv@yahoo.com> wrote:
Well, don't worry about chopping wood, you would be the last person I would allow come to my place. As I stated in my reply email, I CAN'T CUT IT EITHER, MY DR. WON'T ALLOW ME TO DO ANY PHYSICAL WORK!
Don't bother to email me back.
Kitty
Reach me at ******8973
On Mon, Dec 26, 2011 at 8:34 PM, Sal Weddle <salweddle@gmail.com> wrote:
Ms ********,
I immediately took your conditions into consideration, and would not in a million years expect you to chop any of the wood. Thadeus has already agreed to help in doing so, and is very excited to get out of his cage.
While I appreciate your concern in whether I am able to handle the physical work myself, I assure you that I am quite capable. While I will be letting Thadeus do most of the work, I will be keeping up with him as much as my left arm will let me.
I am however concerned upon the fact that you seem to have grown slightly hostile. I apologize if our handicaps have offended you - believe me, we don't like them either. I do hope that you reconsider your generous offer, and think of us as equals.
Faithfully yours, and hopefully warm this winter,
On Tue, Dec 27, 2011 at 6:06 PM, Sal Weddle <salweddle@gmail.com> wrote:
I'm sorry it has come to this Ms. *******, but this has gone too far. Your discrimination against handicapped people is utterly disgusting, and being brought to the proper attention.
Under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), it is prohibited to place discrimination on the basis of disability.
Seeing as you initiated our meeting with such a generous offer, I am willing to allow you to redeem yourself, before actions are taken.
All I want is to keep my brother and I warm this winter, and I find it preposterous that your hatred might possibly prevent this from happening.
Hoping you come to your senses,
-Sal
On Mon, Dec 27, 2011 at 6:56 PM, Ms ******* <*********luv@yahoo.com> wrote:
You and your freak brother can burn in hell. tell that to the ada.
Kitty
Reach me at ******8973
On Tue, Dec 28, 2011 at 8:04 AM, Sal Weddle <salweddle@gmail.com> wrote:
Ms. *******
Are you implying that you're going to give us the firewood to stay warm?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)